I thought that you said it was fine, that I just have to try harder this term. I thought that for once that you would be a normal parent and just be proud of the fact that I’m even taking these classes. I get it that some of my grades went down, but that’s exactly what they are, MY grades! I should want them for ME, so that I can be successful. I should not be doing it for YOU! Sorry to burst your bubble but you graduated high school about 25 years ago. You had your chance to take these classes then and have the experiences that I am now, then. It’s my turn to make mistakes and hopefully learn from them. It’s my turn to be a teenager. Just nagging on me constantly about my work is not helping! If anything, it’s just wasting time.
You try and get me to tell you things. You want to feel like you know what going on, yet when I do you just belittle me. When I try and tell you things and you think that I’m joking about it, it just makes it worse. You don’t think that I will do it? You just think that it’s an “empty threat”? What is wrong with you?? “Oh it would be awful for me,” well no shit Sherlock, but don’t you think that ALL of this is hard for me? I can’t believe that you don’t think that any of this is painful for me, that this is just some whacked out rebellion. Well it’s NOT! When I say things like that I AM NOT JOKING!!! You think that taking away my phone, computer, car access, the right to go out on weekends, is going to help? I’m pretty sure that that will just make it all worse. At that point I will literally have nothing left. If you take away the Paris/Netherlands trip, I will have nothing to look forward to, nothing to live for. You say I will hurt everyone around me? Well guess what, I’m not that great. People will get over me, and probably faster than you think, even you will quickly move on, probably just get a new dog since you seem to care about him more than me anyways.
I don’t really know why I am taking the time and effort to write this out since no one will even read it, further proving my point. I have no one. No one cares about me that much. I have no one that I can tell any of this to. That’s probably why I’m writing and posting this here. I always try and listen and be there for everyone around me, but I can’t trust anyone with anything. No one believes me when I tell them what I’m really thinking. They don’t really know who I am. I guess that’s ok, it’s not like these are everlasting friendships anyways.
Maybe it really just isn’t worth it anymore…
My name is Matti. I am an 18 year old High School Senior from Massachusetts.